Just Shut Up and Do It!

I've wanted to write for as long as I can remember. When I was little, like maybe seven years old, I wrote a story called the Rainbow Dove about a dove who thought she was boring so she went about trying to fix it. She flew through a sunbeam to become a canary. She flew through a storm cloud to become a pigeon. She flew through a rainbow to become a parrot. Etc... I know, it is a new and exciting concept that has never been tackled before in children's literature. Except for by everyone. Pumpkin Pie has a book about a bunny that does basically the exact same thing. But when I was seven I didn't know that everyone had already done it. To that little girl it was a masterpiece of creativity.

Since then I've started dozens of stories. Some never make it out of my head and on to paper. Some never make it past the first few pages. Some make it a few chapters and are then lost forever. One showed so much promise. I had even started plotting out the sequel. Then my computer was stolen and with it, hours and hours of work. I still want to be a writer, even though I've never finished one of my stories, I believe that someday I will. I'd love to have a book on the shelves (physical or digital) with my byline on it.

I realize I don't have to write an entire book to be considered a writer. I blog, so that makes me a writer right? I don't know. The point is, I've always wanted to write so I write. But it would be great if I could write for money. This thought has been bouncing around in my head for awhile now. I could finish a book, maybe get it published, or self publish and sit back and just let all the money fall in my lap. Cuz that's how it works right? Isn't that what Stephanie Meyer did? Write bad vampire fiction then just start raking it in? Seems easy enough.

What has me thinking about all of this today is an old coworker of mine. I won't name names cuz I'm about to be real mean. Girl was dumb. Cute as a button. Sweet as Christmas Fudge. But DUMB. Bless her heart. She had many outstanding qualities but she was one of those girls that other girls just can't help but hate a little. Tiny, thick long blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect make up, talented. A living, breathing, Barbie doll, or maybe Skipper. Today I was surfing Pinterest looking for dinner ideas when I came across a pin with her smiling face all over it. Now, you may be surprised to learn that we have not kept in touch so there's really no reason for us to have crossed cyber paths. Curious, I did a little digging and discovered she's now a successful beauty blogger. She writes for an online magazine and has an e-book that's sold over 7000 copies and a contract to write another one. She also has really bad grammar and is all successful anyway because she's found her niche. She has the amazing ability of making her hair look pretty.

So what do I have to offer? Maybe there are a few places online that would pay me for what I have to say. Perhaps one of the parenting websites where new moms go to find out all the things they're doing wrong or not doing enough of. You mean your baby is three weeks old and you haven't started teaching them sign language yet? Failure! A beauty blog like my old buddy? Who wouldn’t want to read about my strict beauty regimen of maybe showering once a day and applying eyeliner if I'm feeling especially fancy. A craft blog? I could call it my big box of unfinished crap dot com. Or the A.D.D. craft junkie dot com. Or you finish it I’m bored dot com.

Maybe not.

I miss seven year old me. She didn't know that the story she was writing had already been written. She knew she had an idea and she wanted to put it on paper and share it with the world. Nobody had taught her that her idea wasn't good enough or original enough or important enough. Nobody had taught her that she couldn't do exactly what she wanted to do. So she did it. Thirty year old me, feels decidedly differently. Thirty year old me usually feels like she has nothing to offer outside the four walls of this cozy little one bedroom. I can take care of me, my baby, my husband, and the dogs and I have to say, I feel like I'm getting pretty good at it. But I don't have anything outstanding to offer. The things I know won't change anyone's life. I'm not an expert couponer, crafter, or cook. I'm just me. A new mom that's doing her best to figure stuff out and fend off as much of the mom guilt as she can. A wife that's doing her best to meet the needs of her husband while not completely losing sight of her own needs. And a woman who's (maybe) getting a little better at the balancing act every day.

So, I'm trying hard not to wallow in my old acquaintances slightly bizarre success and instead will try following her lead. I can't be this awesome and not have something to offer the internet!